beingCheryl

i am a good idea.

“Don’t judge me,” she murmurs through a mouthful of chocolate

The other day Scott and I were having a conversation about school fundraisers. We all know one of those asshole parents who have ten kids and all ten of them are in at least eleventy student organizations so every week they bring a new order form to work for overpriced wrapping paper or sixty pound tubs of popcorn so little Timmy can get a chess board or lute or some shit and then guilt their co-workers into buying that crap.

I was one of those asshole kids who in turn made my mom into one of those asshole parents. I was in band, jazz band, theatre, chorus, National Honor Society, National Engineering Design Challenge Club, some science thing I can’t remember the name of, Big Brothers and Sisters, three other organizations I’m currently forgetting that had some type of profound effect on my life thank you, and Scrabble Club. In my defense we never sold anything for Scrabble club because we just played Scrabble and also it was sort of a made up club. A(1)-W(4)-E(1)-S(1)-O(1)-M(3)-E(1).

The only time no one ever seemed to mind me slingin’ fundraiser goods was when they were these candy bars from Anthony Thomas. Rich, melt-in-your-mouth chocolate filled with creamy peanut butter or gooey caramel.

…unless you ran out of peanut butter and chocolate and only had the crisped rice and almond ones left, and then everyone hated your face.

Those bars were amazing, and only $1, and you were a sugar-coma-creating God if you brought them to Biology class.

Our conversation gave me an insatiable craving for a caramel candy bar. But the thing is, you can’t just buy ONE candy bar from Anthony Thomas. You can only buy them in bulk, for a fundraiser.

As I was dropping Scott off, I joked that I was going to go home and look into buying some, and we both laughed and laughed.

And then I went home and looked into buying some. It turns out you need to buy at least 180 chocolate bars. I told Scott what I had learned and joked that I was tempted to place an order, and we both laughed and laughed (well, we both typed “lol” at least.)

And then I posted this to Facebook: Trying to decide on a scale from one to gluttonny how bad it’d be if Scott and I bought a case of those caramel fundraising candy bars from Anthony Thomas. 180 bars. I mean. It’d only take like 2 months to eat ’em. I mean. They don’t sell them in smaller quantities. I mean… and the Internet laughed and laughed.

So uh anyway 180 chocolate caramel bars just showed up at my doorstep.

caramel fundraising happiness

No, thank you for your support, of my early onset diabetes, Anthony Thomas.

3 Responses to ““Don’t judge me,” she murmurs through a mouthful of chocolate”

  1. Kristen says:

    haha oh the site of these white plastic bags makes me smile :)

  2. cherylharrison says:

    I’ll save you some ;)

  3. […] “Don’t judge me,” she murmurs through a mouthful of chocolate […]

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