What People Say When You Tell Them You Are Sick

14 comments // Feb 15th, 2011 // Humor

I’ve been dealing with a rather awful ear infection for the past few days.

ear-ache

That’s what I assume it looks like in there, anyway. Aside from the pain, I’ll be fine. However, this most recent losing battle with my body has brought up a recurring annoyance – when I tell someone that I am not feeling well, it’s usually because I want them to leave me alone. Or maybe a little sympathy. Either way, I want the conversation to be brief.

But no. This is what I get:

The Fucking Obvious

These people seem to believe that I have never been sick before, have never met a sick person, have never consumed media regarding being sick or otherwise have short term memory loss like the guy in Memento, because they feel inclined to offer up insightful remedies like “see a doctor” or “get some sleep.”

obvious

The Witchdoctor

There’s always one person who recommends a remedy so far out that there’s no way in hell I’m going to try it, no matter how many upvotes it gets on Yahoo Answers, which is where I assume you got it from.

witchdoctor

The Paranoid

Not content to let you feel shitty on your own, this group insists on predicting your early demise based on the most harmless of symptoms.

overreact

The Immunodeficient

These people will follow you around with a can of lysol and refuse to handle a piece of paper if you’ve been within five feet of it.

acne

Protip: In the future, a simple “feel better” will suffice.

Just me? :)


14 responses so far, want to say something?

  1. Dave says:

    Feel better. (So you can stop bitching!)
    :)

    Feb 15, 2011, 9:49 pm
  2. The Naked Redhead says:

    Wow. So that’s where Hitler is. I’m not sure there’s really an anti-biotic for that.

    (Funny post. :) )

    Feb 15, 2011, 10:05 pm
  3. ImaCornStar says:

    Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh and I hope you get better. Oh, you forgot about me asking for some of your Vicodin although you are in pain. :)

    Feb 15, 2011, 10:38 pm
  4. Kristen says:

    LOVE!! Yes, I am sick. Yes, I am miserable. No, I do not want you in my face. Come again another day. Thank you.

    Feb 15, 2011, 11:45 pm
  5. Dr. Pants says:

    Yeah, I wouldn’t apply anything to my rectum, much less anything with baby’s blood in it.

    Feb 15, 2011, 2:18 am
  6. Cheryl says:

    Senor Pants: Avoiding rectal application is general found favorable.

    Feb 15, 2011, 2:47 pm
  7. Cheryl says:

    Natalie: Ha, I forgot about YOUR kind – the moocher!

    Feb 15, 2011, 2:47 pm
  8. Cheryl says:

    Sarah: It’s an antiNAZIOTIC. HYO!

    Feb 15, 2011, 2:48 pm
  9. Adam in Columbus says:

    SO True. My in-laws are pretty much the textbook definition of germaphobes.

    Feb 15, 2011, 3:55 pm
  10. Haley Weaver says:

    So, how do you feel about the “like” button for a sick status? Just testing the parameters..
    I feel like when most people say they’re sick that they want attention…otherwise they wouldn’t post anything. I don’t normally comment on these status’ anyway but I think people are just trying to help.
    Either way, good graphics and funny observations. Very Oatmeal-esque!

    Feb 15, 2011, 5:46 pm
  11. Cheryl says:

    Haley – I always feel that anyone who “likes” me being sick is wishing I would die. But I think most people are wishing that of me on a daily basis anyway.

    Feb 15, 2011, 5:48 pm
  12. Jacob Stoops says:

    You forgot the people who think you’re a faker just trying to call-off of work. There’s always that!

    Feb 15, 2011, 7:19 pm
  13. Cheryl says:

    Haha good point, Jake. Or, similarly, the people who think you are exaggerating your symptoms.

    Feb 15, 2011, 10:32 pm
  14. Snot | Being Cheryl: Social Media Marketing Strategist from Columbus, Ohio. says:

    [...] And yeah, I’ve been getting a lot of this lately. [...]

    Feb 15, 2011, 8:06 pm

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